Burger Bar Baptisms: Emerald Isle Odyssey - part V 'The 80s Strike Back'

All that the Emerald Isle had to offer at first look was some very questionable burger experiences, reminding me of burger bars that were around when I was still growing my teeth - we weren't sure where the meat was from, or where it would lead us.

Stefano, Simon and Claire were up for looking into some possibilities in the town of Dundalk. Those findings took us back to our first childhood experiences of Wimpy-ish Burger Bars. The friendly waitress, coupled with what proved to be an inspired choice of desert - lemon cheesecake - took what was a very average package and turned it into a positively tuneful Burger meal.

We also carried out some research while experiencing the joys of Dundalk shopping arcade... (click on Stefano for a close up of his findings)

Burger Bar Baptisms - Emerald Isle Odyssey: part IV 'Meat Wars'

Swathes of burgers were lurking on the Emerald Isle, so after something of a burger drought leading up to Alan and Melissa's wedding some trial and possible error was on the cards. Would one need to look far? Possibly...

Coming across the burger goods seemed unlikely at first. The HSS Explorer had a BK burger bar aboard ship. It opened early in the AM while traversing the Irish Sea. I never would have expected much, but was impressed and comforted by the texture and taste of the patty. Impressive to say the least and the flames were very much present in spirit and taste too.

One simple fellow burger lover was after the so called 'meat beast', less the salad ingredients, except for sliced tomato - so even at sea BK means you have it your way.

I was stood upright when talking all of the photos...

Burger Bar Baptisms - NAS Burger: First Report

What do Nicholas Witchell, Sienna Miller and Mick Jagger have in common?
...Carl Davis reports from NASS (NAS) Burger, Lampton Corner.

Burger Bar Baptisms - Burger Bar in Bala

It's not often that I venture out of the big smoke these days, so an opportunity to get out of town and breath some fresh air was duly taken.

Despite the change of surroundings, one constant in life is that no matter where you are a burger bar is never far away... The proprietor of one remote burger bar in Bala, North Wales would agree. He can speak Turkish, Indian, Welsh and Scouse, whereas I can only eat in those dialects... After telling me not to take any photos and (jokingly) wielding a large knife he softened to the point where he took off his apron, came out to the front of his counter and posed with Mark and Ross.


He reflected the warm love of burgers shown by my order, which was the usual - "Quarter pounder, extra cheese, salad, chips; tomato sauce burger side, mayonnaise salad side, salt 'n' vinegar and garlic mayonnaise on the chips... please!" an order that can transcend national English-Welsh borders and any cultural differences.

Burger Bar Baptisms - Barlow in 2015

Last Friday we took a trip into the future courtesy of The Charcoal Grill. Seven years into the future to be exact, to the year 2015... JonnyC had a Quarter Pounder with extra cheese - full salad, mayo (salad side), ketchup (burger side). I actually ordered for him and ordered the same for myself. We also got chips, with the now standard setting: salt n vinegar and 'herb and garlic mayo'. Far from being a garlic infused mess, the Grill offers a garlic mayo magic that can alter the fabric of the space-time continuum, very much an oregano affair actually.

The Grill then effectively becomes the vessel that Hawking talks of - without such a vessel, time-travel is an impossibility, for a human body would never be able to travel through a portal...

We spotted some now vintage plastic figures hovering about the kebab meat (click on photo to enlarge) and bumped into an icon of 1990s pop - a slightly heavier, older, but happy soul. He had been spinning vinyl at that establishment known simply as, The Patch.

Gary Barlow, you are our favourite ageing pop star. Please can you play 'Whoop There It Is' next time we see you? Back in good old 2008 of course...

TD

Burger Bar Baptisms - Hey Bobby, how do you say? 'Luxurious burger'?

A special report from Rob White. On Saturday he took an early ferry to Calais...

"'Burger Luxe', as served at a little bistro called 'L'Histoire Ancienne'.


The burger is made mainly of duck breast. There was also a slice of pan-fried foie gras on top (which is a bit hard to see in the photo). Served with salad, garlic fried new potatoes and a balsamic dressing.

Looks a bit of a dog's dinner, but was in fact very tasty. Took six months off my life expectancy, mind you."

Burger Bar Baptisms - a true Burger Bar Baptism

If only we could bump into the leaders of this unbalanced world while rummaging the minds and souls of those tired eaters in Twknhm Charcoal Grill... maybe we could feed-in some warmth and stir the innate sense of humanity in the hearts of Tony, George, Robert and co... Fight the fascism, not the ‘burger’ flab!

Burger Bar Baptisms - TommyB, AKA 'Big T'

TommyB frequents Charcoal Grill in 'Wknhm'. He is one third of the original TBBB founders.
Two examples of correspondence between TommyB and me:

'on train despite despite lack of motor control. its a fast one to nham, stand by.'
Sender: TommyB
Sent: 23:32.42

'My stamina determined my stay. Fact.'
Sender: TommyB
Sent: 01:14.01

Burger Bar Baptisms - Royal Fried Chicken

Dear Royal Fried Chicken.

We miss your chicken fillet and cheese burgers, your freshly fried chips (with mayo) and spare ribs (only 2-50, now!).

Where are you now? Gone obviously, but you are still in our hearts... and arteries. Please return soon, as we are often blind; lost with no light to guide us at two in the early hours.
Fly back on your chicken wings and deep fried things.
We can't survive on the sauce without your nourishment.

You are our destiny, and our density.

Taylor (not pictured) and PhilB (pictured with helmet)

Burger Bar Baptisms - the burger dude

"On the Sunset strip they used to have 3000 varieties of burger... I asked them for a combo they'd never heard of and blew-up the burger mainframe! Now Sunset Boulevard boasts 3001 varieties!" - The Burger Dude (left)

Burger Bar Baptisms - archive

'Tommy B was sick 'ere', allegedly...